I must admit, I am no cook. I mean, really, of all the things I could be, like a Target worker or something more ambitious like a synchronized swimmer, why would I want to be a cook? So I’ve made a mental note to try to stop pretending to be something I’m not, so the days I played make believe of being a cocky, hot, Jersey Shore guy are no more. Now, I fully recognize myself as a cocky, hot, Lake Erie Shore guy, that likes a cocky, hot, Jersey shore guy, and as soon as that TV show on MTV airs, I will have another free venue in which I can get in some one on one time with myself.
The days I cry that not everyone can be a synchronized swimmer are gonna have to end. I can no longer endure such an unhealthy relationship with society. Our society is created by men, for men. Well, I am a man, who is all about men. Therefore, I should be at the top of the hierarchy, right? There’s nothing wrong with this logic! Who are you heterosexual man? Do have an acronym of a group I can assign you too? No? Damnit. I’m screwed. I guess I will always have swimming, and discounted prices (but not as low as Wal-Mart). People do like swimming…right? I mean, people watch it on TV…right? I think so. I mean, I personally don’t, but if I swam, I would care more, maybe. No, probably not. Damn you heterosexuals! You’ve got me again! You’re to good. Too good. You be careful though, I have Al Sharpton on my side.
